I needed today I very much needed today and as always I just always want to be transparent with everyone and obviously I feel a little extra pressure being so public about it. But I think it's honestly good for me. so I truly don't mind before this run-up started at the end of June the account was at 30k the paper high of right when the market was about to close that Thursday was the highest number I saw and that's like right before I went live with Yahoo it wasn't realized games but the account was valued at 210 000 and then on Friday I should have closed everything and I should have enjoyed my birthday but I did it I went into more calls and I thought oh let's make some quick money and then the market turned and because I was betting too much playing too short of a time frame, the amount that I was down in calls made me think that oh, the Market's actually reverting when in reality it was just a profit taking summer Friday type of a thing and I knew that the odds were still good for the remainder of July So anyway in real time I didn't respect that and then the position that I was selling that I didn't like I had to cut it yesterday Monday and that was another 50k and then on paper because I switched back to SBX calls but they were down this morning because of the flush the extremes that I saw the paper gains like just the overall value I'm not saying locked in, but at one point my account was worth 210 at the max that I saw. So somewhere in that realm this morning when I looked at it of how much it had fallen, it was around 85.

So I went from 30 to 210 to 85. and now because of today, the account is gaining some value. It is currently worth 163 164 and if you do the quick math here, you're going to realize that my entire account is fully tilted. Right now it's at 162.

I only have two thousand dollars worth of buying power 99 of my account is in calls. The SPX alone is worth 46k. In videos where 16k Tesla's worth 4K and meta's worth 1K I I only have two thousand dollars of buying power right now. that's it.

Just two thousand dollars. It was a Full Tilt play which arguably is still not smart. The way it played out though, it felt much more natural, like I was just layering into Winters. It wasn't like I was just because my account even wasn't worth this.

It wasn't like I had 160k to throw into it. it's obviously grown that much I had more like 80k, 90k and I just like kept scaling in as things kept running and obviously it kept running so it obviously like played out very nicely. Um, but with it I mean I know those numbers are crazy even to come back to make whatever to go from 80k in your account value to over 160k in a day. That's crazy.

I'm almost telling you all this because I feel like guilty like I feel like what happened was really bad and I performed very very poorly. From Friday to Monday this isn't good. This is by no mean, um, an attempt to be like braggadocious to look at these gains. If anything, it's me trying to be honest of the serious sell-off that happened just like that.

to go from 210 all the way down I mean that that's just absolutely brutal, that's absolutely brutal. Um, so I just wanted to be honest because like I think too much much of this world. It's a bunch of gurus of only showing you their wins. It's a bunch of just people who don't know what they're talking about.

like Shilling some random stupid service, some random stupid signal thing and they get everyone to believe that this as soon as you give them money that you two are gonna be amazing and I I just don't think that's true. inherently they were that good the first thing you do, shut up about it and just trade by yourself and tell no one. So for me, it's truly just an attempt to be more honest and be like yeah, as much as I share my winners with all of you I want to share my losers at one of these days I like I want to do a mental health video on it even though These are nice gains I Was thinking about this a lot last night when my account was down so much. even then it was still up 50k.

so even when I tell you that like I was feeling horrible that I made 50k in a week and a half and that was a huge mental low and I think because of that and then obviously today is a massive mental High because I feel like I'm making so much of it back. and then last week when I was at at that level of 210 like I was crazy stoked and that's probably part of the reason why I did so well on Yahoo is just because I felt so good. and as much as those dopamine hits are amazing and they're great and it's phenomenal it it needs to be talked about the other side of it. There's so much mentality, so much negative mentality.

When you like are beating yourself up, you're making dumb trades, you're going until and then you know you're gonna make it worse. All I could think about was like I was so angry at myself between Friday and Monday like not just angry. I was beyond angry I was like right? I was so angry because all I could think about now that I'm fortunately engaged to someone who apparently she hasn't killed me yet. especially even though I do all these dumb things.

All I could think about is I had all the money for the wedding and then I lost all the money for the wedding in two days of trading and the fact that I had the money in my hand and then just watched it disappear I was like holy So I think that was part of like what I'm saying, part of like the beat up and like when you get angry at yourself, that's all I could think about I was thinking it through the lens of like I just paid for the whole wedding. great. Everything's done like uh with time to take that money and move on with my life. Easy.

take it out, throw it in bonds, get an extra five percent for a year like easy peasy lemon squeezies you know, obviously not good I feel absurdly fortunate that I have like trading friends and buddies and mentors who when I was going over with this like Friday this weekend and Monday um to kind of correct me out of it and be like dude, here's me like just gotta cut your losers, you gotta reset and I feel good with the reset and then I feel especially like remember there's an aspect of trading that's going to be luck and that's part of what we're seeing right now. now. today is the fact that I got somewhat lucky, the fact that we have an absurd multi-standard deviation move to the upside when I happen to be long like yeah, no, okay, like I admit it, part of it was luck but I Also think of the other thing is if I had a little bit of skill and even cut my losses in half I mean it's brutal folks with my wins with my losses. This is why I say like I can never tell anyone what to do because we're all in different situations.

We all have different psychology. We all have different risk tolerances. we all have different like speed of trading. we all view the market a little differently.

All I want to do is share my story. my whole point of doing all this a hundred percent of the time is share my story and my opinions and meet cool people and make a cool community and hopefully we can all make each other better I hope in one way or another whether it relates to trading Health advice, relationship advice or even if I just made you laugh one time. Great! I Wanted to be a positive influence and I know many of you have been a positive influence on me. Obviously you folks are hilarious I truly believe you're the coolest like entire aspect of the internet I Love you guys! I Hope you guys know that many of you have taught me things like there's far better traders in here than I am and I just aspired to be at your level.

but that's the point of this. like I feel I actually get angry about it. Part of my anger yesterday was like if you ever notice like when it rains, it pours and when one thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong I like I stumbled across some people on the internet and once again they're charlatans. There's so many people that like came up through whatever the the meme hype Saga Phase BS that like they think they're now like professional Traders and they're selling their signals and they're so good.

they're not good. they're fully if you ask them like to show you what's going on on social media. They're one thing. Winning, Winning winning winning.

But you know what's surprising is they don't tell you anything about their losers which is wild because I can bet you half their trades are losers and I bet they take on serious losers and I bet they're just hiding it because of course they just want to keep Shilling you Whatever their fucking product is, it's not real folks. It is absolutely not real foreign.