You need in a good story is in the story. I'm about to share share with you something that happened to me last night. But it has an interesting a hint of a romantic flair. If you will it has big conflict and a peaceful resolution so buckle up last night.

Really yesterday afternoon. I get off stream and i yell out hey completely real girlfriend. What are we doing and then the response to that is i told you this like eight times. But i'm going with your sister or to like a wedding expo.

I'm like um. I don't know she's like i told you this you need to like listen more like we've been over this like many many times. But i feel like you don't listen to me in a relationship you're always just like on your phone. Watching stocks or mining iron ore on ruinscape like you're doing a lot of things and i'm like what's up sorry just got a tweet and then that like really pissed her off.

She didn't think it was funny so anyway. There goes my completely real girlfriend. She's jet setting across the pennsylvania landscape leaving me board af but before she was going. She said.

There's chicken meat in the fridge. Why don't you make chicken tacos make sure you save me one i'm gonna be hungry. When i get back and i said i could do that so there i am cutting up my chicken. Doing my thing jamming out to some music listening a little tease.

Swift and i crush. It i crush the meal and i'm eating it eating it eating it and i remember i'm like okay don't eat all of the tacos. You gotta save your completely real girlfriend. One not a problem so i do that but i'm looking at all the meat and i'm like.

Oh there's one 15. Maybe even two tacos. She's small she'll eat like two smaller tacos hey okay. I put it into a tupperware box put it in the fridge.

I'm like matt you crush. It why don't we like really keep this going do your laundry pick up your room. Like your top dog man. Like let's do this like take.

The afternoon take the evening like take it by the horns like carpe diem carpe noche carpe afternoon whatever it's called i don't know i don't speak spanish so anyway. I'm about to do that and then i'm cleaning up i did the dishes that's i'm not with you i cooked and did the dishes. But when i'm doing the dishes. I'm cleaning up and i'm throwing out plastic and then i'm like uh oh spaghettios get chef boyardee on the phone because i left chicken meat for my completely real girlfriend as requested.

But i accidentally ate all of the taco shells like the flour tortilla shells and i'm like oh she's gonna be pissed on the whole. She's like gonna someone sleeping on the couch tonight and that's someone's me like i can't just be like i made you meet. But i ate all the taco shells like this will be bad. So i'm like all right just do the right thing finish up the dishes hop in your car.

Go to the grocery store. Get taco shells. Easy peasy lemon squeezies. All right that's the right thing to do uh.

But as i'm doing that i'm like um. I'm still a little hungry. So i put my hand like this in a bag of jerky and i had too many things i had my car keys. I had my phone.

I had too much because now i also have a handful of turkey because i've decided i'm still hungry so i'm like i need to free up a hand. So i put a full palm of jerky and shoved it in my mouth to free up a hand so now i'm walking out of my apartment. Borderline mute because of a dried out meat place blockage aka jerky and i'm like you know like a snake. I'll just slowly digest.

It like my saliva will break it down you're not gonna see anyone you know that would be crazy. And i'm i'm ready to go i get to my car open my car have my keys and have a lot of beef jerky. I'm ready for this journey. The place i live is like a parking lot like with a t kind of like this and the parking lot's right here.

So it gets confusing. When people are coming up to the t. Because i'm in the parking lot that's not a road. But like the road is like kind of the side of it so when i back up and i'm moving people driving in the road.

They're like what the is that person doing because obviously you don't want to cause a car crash so i back up and i'm getting ready to get on the road and the stop. Sign is direct me on my left. And i'm at the distance. Where a car would perfectly stop so i'm looking at them.

I'm like is someone coming. Yes. Someone is coming and they stopped at the stop sign. And it's a guy on a motorcycle that i happen to know in fact like a family friend a little bit older.

But like a family friend. He knows me like we're not the best of buddies. But like we definitely know each other and he's like sup man and like first of all obviously i'm intimidating and he's on a motorcycle like that's super cool and then i remember it's all right matt you're in a toyota corolla you look pretty cool too so that gave me a little bit of confidence. I went to go say like the classic like like dude head knot.

Thing where i'm like sup man. But i can't say sup man. Because exactly right i have a mouthful of beef jerky. A full mouthful of beef jerky.

So in real time. And remember i'm just focusing on getting. These flour tortilla shells to not piss off my completely rude girlfriend. So.

I think my brain was moving a little bit slower a little bit slower and i was like what do i do i'm just like like i i just gave them the most awkward smile ever. It was like it's the smile. A parent would give their kid who just placed last at a science competition. That's what my face projected.

I couldn't say anything didn't want to smile with teeth. I didn't just do a normal dude heading on so i just went. I gave him the most awkward smile ever so there you go you have one cool guy on a motorcycle. Another cool super cool dude in a corolla.

The one normal conversation of hey man. And then the next guy hits him with a smile of like an upset parent because their kid just sucked at a science competition. It was so awkward so i'm sure he's been racking his brain about all day. Like what was that like does he not know me is is he hitting on me like what's going on does he know something i don't is this the upside down is this a simulation so it's going completely awry completely completely awry.

But don't worry as i promised at the start of the story as a very very peaceful resolution not only did i go to the grocery store and find the flour tortillas really the start of this quest was based on when i was checking out there's like a high schooler. They're like hey. Did you know that we have snicker bar ice cream for sale like it looks like a snicker bar. But it's a actually ice cream.

I'm like what are you talking about i love snickers. I love ice cream. We're crushing it i had a little bit of a mishap on this journey. The saga.

If you will but like let's bring this home brother. He's like i don't know you that's weird. Why are you talking like that. But yeah.

No they're like in the freezer. And i'm like dude. I gotta see it so i bought this snickers bar. Who had an ice cream like it is ice cream.

I don't know how to describe it. But it's a snickers bar or ice cream like you just have to trust my word for it so i got home and crushed. The snickers bar and then all of a sudden. I just realized everything's like great in this world.

And the only thing that took it to the next level. And honestly why i think i'm crushing it in the market today is right after that i capped off the night with an entire bottle of sangria and here we are a story a journey. Truly a narrative for the ages. Thank you for listening thank you for coming to my ted talk.